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A Three - Minute Love Affair... You're all sitting around the coffee shop talking about the incredible evening you just had dancing. You order your food or coffee, and start talking about various and unusual leads and follows you experienced, dancing on the One or the Two, the latest clubs, the best DJs, and greatest bands. Spending time at coffee shops after an evening of dancing establish lifetime friendships. Out of the corner of your eye, at the end of the table, your favorite dance partner makes a comment from out of nowhere and says to everyone within earshot, "You know, I had a good time tonight, but I can only get my fix with [other woman's name at a different club, in a different city] Do you realize how disheartening this statement is? You think to yourself, "Excuse me, while I go slit my wrists and throw myself into the ocean." He doesn't get his fix with you. You get yours with him, but he can't with you. Did he REALLY have to say that? OK, so he'd rather dance with someone else. Don't feed me reality. I can't take it. Keep me in a dream. Let me have my dream, and don't ruin it! You may think it's the truth, but so is death. My advice to you, is to stop rattling at the mouth that you can "only get your fix with 'such and such' person." You know what this does to everyone else you dance with? It makes them feel like second class citizens. Low-life rejects from the Barios. Good-for-nothing less than human beings that have no purpose or meaning in life. It's like telling one of your closest friends about your "best friend", and it's not them. It's devastating. I'm telling you, there is nothing, absolutely NOTHING more lethal and damaging than what you verbalize. If what comes out of your mouth isn't uplifting, encouraging or positive, DON'T SAY ANYTHING at all Just smile, wave, be pleasant, and simply enjoy each other's company. Relish in the now and in the moment. Find peace with that. Wishing for different partners doesn't do anyone any bit of good. You've got to deal with the hand that's been dealt to you. Bloom where you're planted. Nobody needs to know that you "only get your fix" with certain people, and not THEM. It's like telling people your problems. This isn't group therapy. This is a time for sharing good vibes, and having a good time. Nobody needs to know that you have a best friend, and it's not THEM. Nobody needs to know anything unless it's uplifting, and about THEM, PERIOD. Keep your "fix" secrets to yourself. You and everyone else around you will sleep better at night. I get my dance fix with many different dancers. It's a different flavor fix every time. Learn to appreciate each person you dance with, for their own style and feeling. You'll have a much better time dancing and live a much happier life if you do. Happy Dancing! - Edie, The Salsa FREAK |
