Primo's Corner...
By Dr. Robert Primo, Houston TX

Commentary on This Year's Salsa Cruise 2000...

I am finally sitting down to put together some thoughts I would like to share about one of the greatest salsa experiences in my life. Salsa Cruise 2000.

It was my first cruise ever. The Carnival Elation. A nice boat with a somewhat sterile feel to it humming with organization and Philippino stewards bustling around. A nice crew beaming teflon smiles and kissing up for their tips.

I watched a long line of passengers all waiting to board. Mostly overweight Mid-Westerners ready to start their all-you-can-eat feast. A bunch of giggly teen-agers on spring break and honeymooners that couldn't wait to put the "Do not disturb" signs on their cabin doors. I said to myself : This is going to be a long cruise.

But then I finally made it to my cabin and to the meeting place for the salsa group. They were already dancing while the boat was still in the dock at San Pedro. I do not think we ever stopped until we got off a week later. I felt at home.

It was a cultural melting pot. I danced with fluffy haired blond LA femme fatals. Trust me, that is a whole ethnic group by itself. I danced and with people with all kinds of strange accents: Brits, New Zealanders (whoever came up with their version of the English language?), Greeks, Germans, Canadian, Hawaiians, Russians, Korean, Italians, Chinese, Phillipinos, Indians, Japanese, and of course me  French / Bulgarian. We had a healthy dose of Latinas from Venezuela, Puerto Rico, Mexico Cityand LA.  A couple of Dominicans, Hondurans, Colombians and even a Peruvian. A group so eclectic that they leave the United Nations in the dust. I am not even going to try to list all the cities of origin of the American salseros. We all had one thing in common  a zeal for salsa. 

And the Salsa Brava people fed that zeal to the max. Edie, Luis, Joby, Elizabeth, Alma, Raul, Jose Luis, Cheryl, Tony…. They were all spectacular. We had workshops all day. Dancing before dinner, dancing after dinner all night. On this cruise they fed us all the time. It was sleep we were short of though.
 
We danced in the ports of call too. We had a great time at Senor Frogs in Mazatlan. I bargained for a green frog hat made of foam. The little Mexican kid that sold it to me said I was a good businessman. Now, I have been thinking about that. How did wearing a sponge on my head reveal my executive potential?! It didn’t stop me from dancing with it though. The next day I exercised my “negotiating talent” and bought a Pancho Villa sombrero in Cabo for a song. Check it out! I am in the group photo wearing it. The more exciting part was Kathy Baba hanging on my neck.

Then there was a trip to a nearby town from Puerta Vallarta. I missed that. I hear the trip was a blast. I had to go to an internet café and trade on the stock market. It was really a rough day on Wall Street and I had to close my margined positions. See, I have another big passion; trading. But that is a whole other article.

 I discovered a much better way to trade, though. Not in a stuffy hectic trading floor but rather from a cozy little cafe with a gorgeous view of the bay and the rolling Pacific. Pepe, the owner kept spicing up my coffee with tequila. Not even the 14 kbps dial-up connection bothered me.

The casino on the boat cleaned me out. It would have been worse if it hadn’t been for my gambling pals Jose Pichardo from New Jersey and Elizabeth Enck that watched out for me on the black jack tables. The last night was especially ruthless.

And then we had the pajama party. It was more like a cross dresser extravaganza. Jose from Distrito Federal stole the show with his Hot, Hot, Hot routine. Joby and Luis made a great cross dressing couple. Elizabeth was just her sexy self. That was plenty costume for me. The icing on the cake was Giles and his friend’s Chippendales bare back tuxedo getup.

I had the best time. I learned to deal with my roommate Alfredo’s snoring. I am sure he has something to say about the odor of my socks. Being around Richard Marinero is like an ongoing comedy hour. And he is a pretty good dancer too.  I still have dreams about Michelle from San Diego. She was delicious to dance with. Too bad Derek from Toronto was all over her so I didn’t stand a chance.

Let me tell you about my private with Edie. It was supposed to be a one hour lesson on the hook and turn. I have a mental block about this move. We  started at 10pm and ended at 3:30am. By the end I was dipping her, flipping her, death-dropping her. Ironically,  I am still struggling with the hook and turn. Edie, we need another session like that when you get to Houston! 

I better stop boring people with my bily cynicism. I just want to tell every body that I had the greatest time and I cannot wait to do the cruise next year from New Orleans.