From my dear friend Mark, in Sacramento... 

IF "YOUR DECISION" IS INDEED THE WAY GOD HAS MADE YOU, THEN YOU WILL FIND THE GOING EASIER AND EASIER AS YOU 
CONTINUE TO WALK IN THIS DECISION. That will confirm it to you beyond a doubt. 
So, given that, it shouldn't hurt anything for me to suggest that right now your decision is simply necessary to get you through a painful time. But later you may hold open the possibility of a relationship that is grounded in two-way REALITY. Right now, it gives you emotional safety (and necessary free time) to say "No way." And that is perfectly natural, given what you have gone through. But I pray and believe that God, true friends, and time may bring you back to middle ground. It's good to have a fence, (for a change) but NOT a bunker. After people erect a fence, they realize they need 
a gate, too.
Mark