Bathroom / WC / Toilette Conversations…
“Ya’ know… he used to be good. What Happened to That Guy?”
It’s amazing what you hear when you’re in the rest room (WC/toilet) of a
nightclub. If only the opposite sex could hear some of the whispering
conversations in there...
About Last Night….
I was at a local nightclub here in [city], and I recognized a gentleman that I
remember dancing with about a year ago. I remembered how fabulous of a lead he
was. I remembered his easy-to-follow turn patterns, combinations, and style. He
made me feel like a million dollars out there. I remember him making me feel
sexy. I remember him making me feel like a woman. And I remember telling him
that after every song.
He used to put me into leads that I would just melt over. In fact, it was such a
pleasure dancing with him, that I craved a cigarette after every dance we had.
Dancing with him replaced sex – bar none. People used to tell me how great we
looked together, and they couldn’t stop watching us dance.
I walked over to where he was standing by the bar. He recognized me right away.
He gave me a HUGE smile and hug and immediately asked me to dance. I couldn’t
WAIT to dance with him! I couldn’t WAIT to experience that feeling again. I
could not WAIT to get on that floor with this man!
A fabulous song came on. This was the moment I had been waiting for - a FABULOUS
song, with a FABULOUS lead. There is NOTHING BETTER in this world as far as I’m
concerned. My stomach started rumbling with butterflies, and goose bumps
appeared all over my arms in anticipation for the moments to come with him.
We started hand-in-hand toward the dance floor. Suddenly, he let go of my hand
and did this horrid-looking series of …. spin….things. Then he looked at me as
if he was going to devour me like an animal. I stared back at him with wide
eyes, and tried to force a small smile. I found myself laughing inside a bit
(from unbelief), then put my arms out toward him. I expected him to come get me
to start dancing. Instead, he extended his arms toward me, pointed is finger at
me next to his nose, and gestured with it to inch toward him. He then winked at
me. I ended up walking toward him to get him to start dancing with me. By this
time, the fabulous song we were missing was already half over.
He finally put me into his arms and placed me into an extremely light basic
step. I could barely feel his lead. I could barely feel his arms around me. He
was holding me as if he didn’t want to touch me. Too light, too light. He
started doing all these crazy hand flicks, and spins, and semi-turns, and
looking around the room to see who was looking at him. He was so busy worrying
about himself, and how he looked, that I felt like I didn’t even exist. I don’t
even think he noticed I was there! I felt like I was holding him up. I felt like
I was displaying him, and that the entire song and evening was completely about
him, his “self” and how great he looked.
We kept falling out the lead, and ending up doing solo shines because we kept
losing connection from his complicated turn –patterns from hell. I remember my
face ending up in his armpit once or twice, and my arm being yanked out of
socket from his pulling it too hard over his head. I couldn’t read any of his
moves, and had to constantly look at him, and literally run just to keep up. I
found myself not dancing, but just surviving the song.
His lead completely fell apart, and he kept looking at me as if it was ME who
was at fault. I was sick of apologizing. He just kept going. I stopped
apologizing, and just “coped” with him until just about the end of the song. He
was so busy doing his own little flares, head shakes, and complicated patterns
that he didn’t notice my mortified face. “Wow. Only a 19-year old gymnast on
crack cocaine could follow this” I said to myself. Upon our fifth or so, solo
shine due to loss of connection and lack of solid lead, I STOPPED AND GLARED AT
HIM.
I couldn’t take it any more. What happened to his beautiful lead of a year ago?
What happened to his frame? What happened to displaying the femininity of the
woman in his masculine and powerful way?
“WHAT HAPPENED TO YOU?” I asked.
“I CAN’T FEEL YOUR LEAD!” I exclaimed in desperation.
“I DON’T KNOW WHERE OR WHAT I AM SUPPOSED TO DO!” I screamed in disgust.
Look, [his name] you are getting WAY TOO CREATIVE my friend. I don’t know what
you want from me anymore! I keep guessing with you, and I don’t want to have to
guess! Don’t make me think and try to figure you out. Don’t make me work to have
to follow you. Don’t pull me out of beat or knock me off balance. Think about
who you are dancing with. A female (HELLO!). A WOMAN.
Think about the female who is now an extension of your arm! Pay attention to
what she is going through, and her level of comfort! Put your SELF in your own
moves and feel just how you yourself feel. Here, let me give your SELF a dose of
your own medicine!
I then proceeded to lead him (since he is an instructor, he could follow), and
show him exactly what he was doing to me, and how he felt.
“I cannot read you anymore. What happened?” I need a “Man” on that dance floor,
not some clown! I need a strong lead, not a weak, spineless WORM with no
backbone! Give me some of your manhood out there! Make me feel like a woman
again damn it! You USED TO do that, so…WHAT HAPPENED???”
He looked at me in embarrassment, and “Got it”. He then went back to his old
self, and put me into the beautiful, familiar lead I had fallen in love with a
year ago.
A very similar situation happened with Ismael Otero and Super Mario a few years
ago. No one but their dance team members, could follow them anymore, and the
rumors in the bathrooms were flying. I had to pull them both aside one Congress,
and give them a little “talk”.
I’m not saying you cannot be creative as a lead, or a follow. I’m simply saying
that when in creative mode, your moves should feel as if you are not doing
anything unusual. Your creativity should not be felt or suffered by your dance
partner.
When I teach styling, the emphasis is on “when” to style, more so than “how”. I
focus on moves and techniques that will rarely interrupt my partner. The same
should hold true for the man in his lead. Continue with your fabulous leads, but
insert your creativity within your patterns, without interrupting her. This is
an art. Paint your picture, and keep her beautifully and comfortably a part of
it.
It’s amazing what you hear when you’re in the rest room (WC). If only the
opposite sex could hear some of the conversations in there...
Happy Dancing! - Edie, The Salsa FREAK
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